It wasn't Regret
by Xander287
Summary: The unpredictability of life to some is exciting, exhilarating, to others troublesome, and to a few daunting. His life started when she entered and ended when she left. But never did he feel any regret. Sasuke X Sakura


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

I also do not own Citroen C-Metisse, some guys in Europe do

-regular - present time

italics - Memories.

O.o.O.o.O.o.

-Funny how the weather can represent someone's feelings so appropriately, funny how that as it changes so does those feelings... funny how that only happens to a selected few.

"_Honey, slow down." she whispered, looking at him under drooping eyelids._

-The rain didn't let up, it just continued on, sometimes in torrents, sometimes light drizzles, but it never ceased. Each drop symbolizing a memory, a memory that tortured and tore at an already sore heart.

_He looked over at her as she tried once again to get comfortable in the small car seat. A wry smile gracing his features every time her protruding stomach would bump into the door and she would groan in annoyance and frustration. She was beautiful, even with furrowed eyebrows and puffed out cheeks._

-Reliving the pain was bearable; it reminded him that he was alive. He preferred it, preferred it to the solitude. The emptiness, the feelings of lost. That void which was forever present, it was driving him slowly insane. A form of insanity which might have interested him a few years before, but now he dreaded it, with every fiber of his being.

"_Argh!" she screamed drawing his attention once again. Sitting upright, she flapped her arms in frustration. _

"_Don't they know pregnant women ride in cars too?!" she shouted and then glared at her husband in the driver seat, who had let the ghost of a chuckle escape his lips. Now, his face was void of emotion and turned towards the road but it didn't prevent her from seeing the amusement in his eyes. _

"_It's not funny, Sasuke." she said through clenched teeth, punching the dashboard hard and then retracting her hand in a pained expression. _

"_Can you even fathom how tired I am?" she asked, her voice quiet and shaky. Sasuke slapped himself mentally._

'_mood swings' he reminded himself._

-'You never really miss someone until they're gone' was the way the saying went, everyone knew it and used it, but he wanted to find the person who wrote it, and put them in the ground instead.

_He looked at her in the corner of his eyes, her breaths had evened out and her face was the perfect picture of peace. Finally she was asleep. Looking at the speedometer, he increased the pressure on the gas peddle just a little. The faster he got home, the faster she would be able to be more comfortable in their bed. He had to agree, the Citroën C-Métisse was not bubble belly friendly. His logic was strong_.

-His logic, was wrong. Hating himself for the decision had brought no peace of mind. Making it his fault didn't help anymore than blaming it on the other driver. It had happened, he couldn't have stopped it, he couldn't have changed the outcome...but why couldn't he?

S_asuke passed yet another tollbooth, why his wife had insisted on hiring a doctor almost two provinces away, he would never know. The amply chested woman was far from friendly and rather too familiar with the sake bottle for his liking, but his cherry blossom seemed to admire her, and who was he to say no._

-"You're going to be okay?" came a voice from the distance. Was he? Was he going to be okay? Was there life after this? Could he really go on? A firm grip was made on his shoulder, he inclined his head upwards to meet brilliant blue eyes, the concern was obvious. He didn't speak, he couldn't, for every word that came forth from his mouth seemed to damn him, curse him to remain, while they moved on. He nodded yes, returning his gaze to the setting sun. The grip tightened slightly,

"I'm there if you need me" the voice whispered and then retreating footsteps could be heard. Looking over the banister he saw his friend help his wife into the car and then get in himself, with one last tearful look at the house, Naruto started the car and drove off.

_Cautiously Sasuke placed his hand on his wife's stomach, she smiled in her sleep and his son kicked in response to his touch. It was a boy, he had wished it so and so it would be. A small smirk bloomed on his face as he remembered the pact between himself and his best friend._

"_My son would be the best Ever." the blond had shouted, "Heh, and maybe yours wouldn't be such a teme as you, teme." he had taunted before Sakura had clout him over the head._

"_What did you say?" she asked threateningly. Naruto had turned to him for help, but then he did like to the see the blond suffer. _

"_Erm, um, I meant that your kid's gonna be a darling sakura-chan, seeing you're it's mom and all." Naruto had said shaking slightly._

"_Her," she had corrected to his dismay and mental reminder of telling her it would be a boy._

_It was far more than a coincidence that both their wives were pregnant around the same time. Ensuring the rivalry would continue into the next generation._

-Focusing his attention on the floor, he walked into the house. It was all too familiar, it held too much memories, it was too painful, even for him. Being a genius didn't help in these situations, for even they had feelings.

_Sighing with relief he entered the lane leading off the freeway, the prospect of having a lovely dinner with his wife looking more and more wonderful with every clue of nearing home. _

-He had loved this room, everything about it made him feel at peace. Putting up a fight and sleeping on the couch for three weeks was worth it, the light shade of green was calming, it wasn't the blue he had wanted but he had succeeded in daunting Sakura's attempts of painting the room pink. Her hair color was just enough pink he could handle.

But now this room, only reminded him of the things he would never have, no matter how much he wished for them. They were gone forever.

_Turning the steering wheel slightly Sasuke moved into the lane leading to his neighborhood, yes he was almost there. Home, a word he had learned to love._

-His eyes fell upon a picture on the wall, it wasn't as perfect as the one's Sai did but it was the one he had held in greatest esteem. "Welcome Home" it said, with the painted palm prints of his wife and himself beside each other, a small space reserved for their child. Home, a place which no longer existed.

'_It happened so fast'. A phrase often used in situations like the one he was in right now. But, to him, it all went in slow motion. Painfully slow, the feeling of helplessness recording through out every cell of his entire being. The car, the embankment, the panic, the impact. A line of images never to leave his mind ever again._

-He left the room, walking in a trance trough out the hallways, he didn't have an intended destination but when he focused his eyes again he found himself in the master bedroom. It too was painful to enter. The things which happened here were what gave his life meaning, the joy of waking up with someone beside whom you had so much affection for, your silence would be genuine for you were at a lost for words. A feeling he discovered to be fleeting like the wind. Everything now, was in the past tense.

_His head was spinning, his vision blurred and pain throbbed through out his body. It was loud, very loud. Yet he couldn't identify the sound. Stumbling from the mangled metal, he moved away from the sound, it was driving him insane. It was the sound of a car horn, but it was continuous. He could see outlines of individuals but no one familiar, no one stood out. They were just standing and staring, faces frozen in shock and then realization hit. Everything went black._

-His hand brushed the top of the bed as he passed it. This was where it had begun; this was where his future took on new shape, new light and new possibilities. But now he was left with nothing. The light from the bathroom welcomed him as he entered. Passing the mirror, he didn't look up. His appearance didn't help anything, for he had yet to sleep since that fateful day, the day his life was shattered.

"_Save our baby." she had said as he ran along side the gurney, her grip on his hand tightening, "Please, save him." she cried, the tears flowing down her cheeks in two steady streams. Sasuke looked on helplessly as more and more blood seeped out of the gash on her side._

"_You were right," she continued through the pain, her eyes puffy and her breaths haggard, _

"_It's a boy, you got your wish"._

_His eyes burned, his head hurt and the shot the medic had given him was finally taking effect. He tried smiling at her but he couldn't muster the strength. Placing both hands over hers, he moved in closer to her as she began to speak again. _

"_I love you Sasuke, I love you so much." she said in between sobs, "I always have, and always will." _

'_Shut up, Shut up' he screamed in his mind, 'You're going to be fine.' but the words never reached his lips. The tears he was trying to hold back spilled fort as reality kicked in._

He entered the tub of water fully clothed. He didn't care, it didn't matter whether it was right or wrong, everything in existence right now, to him, was unnecessary, except one thing.

"_Please." he said looking at her through blurred vision, "Please." he repeated. A million words and emotions fit into that one word. She smiled a sad knowing smile and then shook her head slowly from side to side. _

"_Goodbye, my love." were the last words he heard before they pushed her into the Emergency room. No one informed him, he just knew. Thirty minutes later a blood curdling scream erupted from the waiting room. He just knew he was now all alone. They had left him behind._

-Sasuke slowly raised the object in his hand until it was in line with his line of sight. He closed his eyes and admired the memories which flashed behind the shut lids, from their first kiss to their almost first child, all leading up to this very moment. His hands rose higher until the cold metal on his temple assured him of accuracy.

A moment feared by some, dreaded by others, a moment that come so soon to some, though inevitable to all, his first moment of peace.

A loud bang rang trough the house followed by a clang and a splash.

He didn't do it out of regret; he did it out of love. A love he couldn't see himself living without. Thus the reason he did it smiling.

O.o.O.o.O.o.

Do tell if it is confusing, i just kinda like this style of writing. Do review. Please?


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